The Fleece II
I was just looking through my many different posts ... and both of the comments I've received ... *grins* okay, so I jest, but anyway, this post is of a rather serious nature.I found something. I considered answering it with a subsequent comment, but the fear that it would simply be buried and forgotten was too much to bear. I figured it was time for a new post. :) So I'll answer it here. Ursula writes:
On the topic of Gideon's Fleece. I am in a situation at the moment and terrible agony. It should not be, if I look at it in human eyes, but for some reason it is profound. I feel like I have not been in God's will and I recently graduated with my BA and looking for a good paying job. Now there has come open a job closer to home that pays less with no benefits, what am I to do? I have been looking for answers, but they seem not to come. HELP
That is one difficult question, Ursula. Difficult to answer. Because, to tell you the truth, I don't know. I suppose I'm still in the process of figuring out all this stuff for myself. However, don't give up on trying to discern God's will. Keep looking, no matter how hard it is. No matter how long you have to wait. When you need to know, God will tell you. I'm finding that He is faithful with the "need to know" information.
One of my professors, Dean Yurkewich, gave me some advice that is applicable to your situation. He told me something along the lines of, "if you do know God's will, then don't try to convince yourself that something else is His will." In other words, if God is telling you to do something, then don't look elsewhere, at the things you want, and tell yourself that they are actually His will. He will let you disobey, if that's your desire.
You say that you feel like you have not recently been in His will. How so? What has made you feel that way? Has God given you any signs that you should be doing other things? This "other job" you've told me about - does it suit your interests at all? Is its only drawback the fact that 'it doesn't pay well'? If you want to work there, and its only drawback is its low pay, and God wants you to work there ... then take it! God will supply your needs so long as you are willing to take the first step. But Proverbs strictly warns us against laziness: the cliche that "God can't steer a ship (you) if it's not moving" still applies.
But for sure, look at His will regarding your fleece as well. Does He even want you to place a fleece before Him? Sometimes He doesn't ... which is obvious enough by Jesus' responses to the Pharisees and religious rulers. As for me ... I'm confident that God wanted me to do this, at least this time.
When I got the idea for my fleece, I was driving back to school, wondering how anything could possibly work out for me and my schooling. So I just started to pray. I told God about my frustration, and just asked Him what I should be doing.
Suddenly, the idea hit me. I knew, in a split second, how it could logically work out. It wasn't something that I could simply blame on "coincidence," but it was no outrageous, superfluous request either. It made sense. And as I prayed and lay my fleece before God, I felt a certain peace ... which was strange. Not that I was flippant about it, mind you ... anxiousness over whether God would say yes or no started settling in the very next day. But finally, I had some way to discern His answer. That is where the peace came in.
What's my advice? Don't ask God if you're doing what He wants. (It sounds to me like you may already know His will, but that's besides the point.) Ask Him what you should do to figure out what His will is. Does He want you to lay a fleece before Him? Do you simply need to ask and listen? Or is it on a need-to-know basis, right now with you simply not needing to know? Ask Him how you should find out His will. And ... hard as it is ... be prepared and willing to act on even the answer you don't want to hear.
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