Now I'm frustrated.
Do you ever feel like even though you're trying so hard to be a good example, God just seems to look down on it and say, "meh ... so what?" I do. Matter of fact, I feel right now like God's just giving me one huge slap in the face. And not for disciplinary purposes either, but just because He wants to have a cruel laugh at my expense.So I've been working hard - really hard - lately. Working at IGA as much as humanely possible, keeping up with schoolwork, and taking as good care of my car as I can. I've been trying hard to do a good job. So far I've saved up almost as much as I need for next year's college expenses. I've been planning on quitting my job for the summer, too - I want to be a good example of faith to others: I feel like God's pushing me to work at camp rather than earn money for my second year at PRBI, so that's what I'm going to do.
This decision hasn't been easy. While all my friends rush to their jobs, trying to save up, I'm supposed to go against the flow and ... "trust God." To date, I make up 20% of all our cabin leaders. Um, hello? Is God going to reward my 'faith' with some other cabin leaders here? Please??
To make matters worse, I've been working hard on fixing up my car. Then ... I got a rock chip in my headlight glass. No big deal, I figure - I must be able to buy the glass piece for under $30 somewhere. Nope - they don't just sell the headlight glass; I have to buy the entire headlight component. Over $150 for a used one; $230 brand new. So I figure, forget that noise! I'll just get some transparent epoxy and fix up the hole myself ... shouldn't be over five bucks to do.
I decided to do that today, before coming home from work.
I got home, to find that I no longer have only one small hole. Now I have another half-inch hole, full-blown with a crack and everything. I'll look at it tomorrow morning, but I'm pretty sure my light is toast. "Um - THANKS, GOD!!!" I work this hard to try and please You, and You reward me by wrecking something I've put so much work into, and in the process erasing some of my much-needed college money! And I was planning on going to Bible school too.
I sure hope God has something fascinating in mind, because I'll be thrilled to see how this turns out.
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